When we work out, we stretch our muscles and create micro tears. When they heal, we create stronger muscles. We stretch them to a new capacity. We do this mentally, using our ability to focus. We even do this with our identities.

Just like a muscle tires out during a workout, so do our minds, hearts, and selves. It is in the rest between workouts that we heal, become stronger, and feel that we have gained traction very quickly.

I had 4 days of solo bikepacking. It felt like the whole of the YHC first year growth came into fruition. It had been a journey, as it usually is, to get to the trail and to get set up so that I was free for these days, well equipped, and had a back up plan. It took intention to cultivate the space that would allow for my identity to catch up to me.

While biking I heard the quote from Robert Brault “We are kept from our goal not by obstacles but by a clear path to a lesser goal”. That happened to me! By the end of the winter season of working away at lessons and business and stretching myself continuously, I was tired when it came to the spring. With strong conviction, I decided to take a youth working job in town to balance out the time I was spending working alone on business. I craved in person interaction, clear direction, and to be in flow outside of business and sports so that I would return to the desk fresh and ready to work in a new way.

It was short lived, it did not fit and I quit within a month of starting. The week before my scheduled bike trip, an incident at work had stirred up a lot of emotion. I thought about quitting but didn’t want to give up or back down so quickly and went into the bike trip with the decision to not make a decision, to accept the support they were offering and keep trying.

Oh, the glorious clarity of SPACE!!! It just felt like I had room to explore thoughts and ideas and there was no rush, but rather great trust in the process. I was waking up thinking about it in the morning, in the middle of the night, and having to be very intentional not to think about it at bed time so I could fall asleep. I realized this wasn’t done, the decision made was not the right one and I knew I had to quit. I felt guilty for quitting right after training and even some shame for not wanting to work with these youth. There was room for those emotions to be processed and digested on this bike trip too, this all came through on day 2!

“Now what?” I thought to myself. “What was the purpose of this intense experience that is so far from what I was hoping for?” It was a clear path to a lesser goal. It came with ease, with familiarity, and when things got hard, I fell into the same old patterns around food, alcohol, and thoughts.

I realized that this pattern was over. That chapter had been written. It was time to let it close. I had worked with youth in one specific program that I was very passionate about. It offered me the chance of great adventure and purpose. But that was done. It was time to let go, to stop looking for work that would replace those feelings that were so special in jobs that could not offer the same experience. It was time to let my ego and identity around being a field guide go and open up the chapter that I had been just flirting with all winter.

It is a great process. It was years of searching, taking jobs, moving towns, quitting jobs, drifting, growing, trying again. Many journals filled and many coaching conversations invested in transitioning from one to the next. All of a sudden, the new me was riding my bike on a bike packing trip. The new me is a business owner, an entrepreneur, and a Yoga Health Coach.

The timing of the trip was interesting too. A year before, on summer solstice, I was leaving my growing-up home after a strong disagreement that showed it was time to go find my own home. I drifted through the mountains toward adventure sports and clear flowing rivers. Solstice had been a big turning point that year and led to the greatest feelings of personal sovereignty I had experienced. Now a year later, it was being refined into a new version of me that is sovereign in a new way. Six months prior in the fall, I had attempted the same bike trip. It was rainy, cold, and dark by 6 PM. The derailleur on my bike was slowly breaking until I was down to one speed with a lot of hills, too cold to stop for breaks, and soaked right down to my base layers. My mind was wrestling with why I was there the whole time. What was I trying to prove? Who cared? Who would even know? After a long wrestle with quitting, I pulled over in a split second decision and started hitch hiking to my car. I drove back home in the dark rain feeling a bit lost and silly.

The rest, the space, is the chance for our identities to heal from the stretch and become stronger, evolved, and new. It is the chance for us to embody the identities we have been working to create, through meditation, mindful action, journaling, cultivation of supporting thoughts and relationships. When we hold space, we give the chance for something new, something different to surprise us, to knock us right off our feet. This newness cannot get to us when our plates, hearts, and minds are full and we cling to the old.

I remember when I was pregnant with my first child, my body changed so fast I couldn’t believe it! I just felt bloated all the time…then the weight gain! Food cravings came next, “why was I craving Mexican food?” Ironically, my now adult son absolutely loves Mexican food so who knows?

Gradually, as my body changed I embraced these and other changes—like the constant sound blood pounding in my ears!

My OB/GYN assured me this was a normal part of pregnancy. I realized this was just all part of my incredible journey into motherhood. In addition, knowing I was eating healthy, exercising and doing all the right things gave me a definite sense of peace.

At the time, I wasn’t following Ayurveda, but I was trying hard to have as natural a pregnancy as I could—with certain limitations of course! I was aware of the connection between Western medicine and the holistic world, which helped me trust in my OB/GYN.

Fast forward to today and, while I was not familiar with Ayurveda then, it is clear that it has played a huge role in guiding me through my own pregnancy. Meditation, stretching and breathing were all encouraged by my doctor.

What is Ayurveda?

Literally translated Ayurveda, means the science of life.Ayurveda is a traditional healing system that originated in India, about 5,000 years ago. It is one of the world’s oldest holistic healing systems. Western medicine borrows many of its remedies and treatments from Ayurveda. 

Here are some ayurvedic tips to help you cope.

Doshas and pregnancy

Your dosha is your dominant mind/body constitution. The three doshas are Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. While all three are present in everyone, we all have a dominant dosha from birth.

Vata dosha means movement, and pregnancy is rapidly changing and moving. As such, pregnancy so embodies this dosha. Pregnancy is associated with high vata directed towards the baby. 

Some ways to balance vata are to eat a diet focusing on sweet, sour, and salty rasas (tastes). Incorporate yoga into your day to promote a calm state of mind, and to balance the apana vayu (downward and outward flow of energy). Avoid activities that include sudden movements—like jumping and lifting heavy objects during pregnancy. 

Focus on grounding, positive activities like meditation and self massage. This should be a time of nurturance and calmness. Avoid stress as much as possible. 

Other habits to indulge in include sitting in silence (put those cell phones and computers away), oil massage,  and nurturing your senses. Put yourself in a warm, relaxing bath, add essential oils and afterwards give yourself an oil massage—focusing on areas of tenderness or areas that demand more TLC.

Yoga can be not only relaxing to the body but relaxing to the mind. According to Nina Spears of baby-chick.com, these are some yoga poses that encourage pelvic and hip-opening; butterfly pose, squats, hip flexor stretch, pigeon and seated straddle. 

Sleep and pregnancy

Can you sleep too much when you are pregnant? Well, that depends on the quality of sleep you are getting.  Are you getting up several times during the night, or having disturbed sleep? The recommendation for pregnant woman is to get 7-9 hours of sleep. That said, your body needs the rest so listen to your body!

During the first trimester, rising progesterone levels and increased blood volume are the cause of feeling so sleepy. In the third trimester, extra baby weight, as well as the emotional anxiety of labor, and the stress of parenthood can also contribute. Functioning without adequate sleep can lead to many things, including your ability to focus, think clearly and of course your emotional well-being. Check out healthline.com for more information.

Eating and pregnancy

You may be breezing through the first trimester. Or, you may be constantly nauseous, fatigued and craving weird (or maybe wonderful) foods. Or, you may be wondering what food choices are best for you and baby. Just remember: what the mother eats, drinks, feels and does affects her little one’s life for many years to come. 

Your agni, or digestive fire, is in a weakened state during pregnancy and many changes are occurring both physically and psychologically. It is important to eat Sattvic, simple foods, with the focus on nourishment for both mom and baby.  

Some pregnancy superfoods are grounding and deliver prana or cosmic life force. These include organic dairy, nuts, whole grains, beans, fruit and fresh cooked vegetables. 

During pregnancy and postpartum, Vata dosha is off balance because of all the changes that have occurred. Avoid spicy foods while maintaining regular and consistent eating times. Avoid leftovers…aim for fresh food as much as possible. Limit raw or cold foods, and try not to over or under eat. 

Kiera Nachman of Motherly says, “incorporating fats and oils into your diet, as well eating sattvic foods are beneficial.” Try nourishing the mind and body through oil massage. This increases the qualities of purity and clarity in your mind.” (ref: https://www.mother.ly/lifestyle/ayurveda-for-pregnancy) 

Eating disorders during pregnancy are more common than previously thought, according to pubmed, Understanding eating disorders and using screening tools should be incorporated into antenatal care for the best possible outcome. While most babies are born without complications, the risks of women with anorexia or bulimia can be higher incidences of c- sections and post-partum depression. 

If you think you have an eating disorder, and are concerned about your pregnancy here are some resources to check out. https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/pregnancy-and-eating-disorders

Just remember that no matter what you are going through with your pregnancy, Ayurveda has solutions. What do you expect from more than 5,000 years of holistic practice?

Namaste!

Like my friend, I suspect that you are someone who cares deeply for your people. Your care and concern for the well being of your family, neighbors, and community are likely to be a top priority for you. You probably go out of your way to serve them on a regular basis. It may even be that your care for them takes precedence over your care for yourself most days, especially if you are raising children, or are a caregiver to a sick spouse, or an elderly parent or parents.

I feel this.

For the longest time, I tried to tell my loved ones how to best care for themselves. I tried educating my immediate and extended family about nutrition, and encouraging them to exercise. This was often met with resentment, disdain, or dismissal. Because of my level of care, even though I was frustrated with them, I still showed up and went out of my way for them, often exhausting myself in the process. I knew what they needed, and I prioritized it, even if it meant there was no energy left for me. Over time I started resenting this, and them.

Fast forward to the present: This year we had a plant based Christmas dinner, at the request of my daughters. These days, my husband eats a larger lunch and lighter dinner. We all fast for 13+ hours each day. One of my girls willingly joins me for a short morning workout. We have conversations about how to care for ourselves, body, mind, and spirit.

The only thing that changed was my level of commitment to myself. I quietly took the energy I put into impassioned pleas for them to change, and put it into transforming my daily habits, and everything shifted. I am still caregiving daily, but I do so with an open heart, and a clear mind. I have the energy and stamina to meet the needs of my family, and resources to draw from in case of a restless night, or long day of doctor’s appointments. I’ve learned a lot, most importantly this:

Self care is not selfish, it is a service to others.

If you have ever flown, you have heard this instruction, given by the flight attendant, “In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, before you assist others, always put your oxygen mask on first.” Why? Because if you run out of oxygen, you can’t help anyone else. Taking care of yourself first will allow you to better help others. This idea has also been communicated as “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

When we are depleted, it is difficult to go above and beyond for our people. If we are not well fed, we run out of energy. If we only have enough stamina to get through the next hurdle, we get stressed out over a small change in plans or a minor inconvenience. We may be short tempered, cross, and impatient.

Conversely, when we are rested, nourished, and grounded in our physiology, with a high functioning immune system and energy reserves, we are better, better parents, spouses, neighbors, friends, employees, bosses, caretakers and people. Across the board we are better. We can show up to our responsibilities with a higher level of care and commitment. Our commitment to ourselves benefits those around us.

This is true for anyone, anywhere, and especially true for caregivers, who often feel burnt out and tired. Caregiving requires presence and selflessness, which is much easier for someone who is not depleted. Those we care for can sense when we are resentful of our responsibilities to them, which can cause them to feel guilt and shame. Self care practices, like sitting in silence, moving our bodies, and resting, will allow us to access our compassion so what radiates from us is our love and care.

Perhaps the most impactful way that caring for ourselves serves our loved ones and communities is that in doing so we can inspire others to do the same for themselves. This is what played out in my home. When I stopped nagging everyone about what they should be doing and began just doing what I needed to do for myself, I got results. These results were visible and palpable. My family noticed and began to ask how they could get the same results. I was able to share in a new way, a way that was welcomed and well received. I was giving them, and others, an example to follow. In making myself a priority, I was giving permission for them to do the same. This is a service to a culture that is overworked, overweight, overtired, and overstimulated.

• When you are rested, you are more patient,
• When you are nourished, you have more energy.
• When your immune system is functioning well, you get sick less often. You miss work less often. You recover faster and you don’t miss out on life.
• When your mind is clear you can be present for others. You can listen deeply and respond from a place of authenticity.
• When you are connected to your spirit, all of life is meaningful, even the hardships.
• When you make yourself a priority, you empower the people around you to respect and care for themselves.

A lot of people I encounter don’t know how to prioritize themselves, especially women. I didn’t either. I am grateful I found a community to join that would support me while I transitioned from putting everything and everyone before me, to someone who put their oxygen mask on first. I encourage you to embrace the habits that can heal you, restore your energy, reset your nervous system, clear your mind, ground you person in your physiology, and connect you to your spirit so you can be the person the people around you need and want you to be. Your dharma may be to serve, but you need not be a martyr to do it.

Behind the apparent success there is extraordinary dysfunction. A disconnection from true needs, nutritionally and spiritually. Going to work early when it’s barely light and finishing work as the light fades, at least 5 days a week. Getting things done supported by gallons of caffeine and using controlled sugary snacks to comfort. Relaxation almost always comes with the sledgehammer alcohol.

This isn’t an unusual state of affairs. This is actually a standard way for men and women in the corporate world to work and wind down but the question is, do women suffer in very particular ways?

Kate and Rosie talk about their friendship and their shared experience.

Kate talks about being hit by the mother of all sledgehammers, facing mortality square in the face with a breast cancer diagnosis shortly before her second marriage. She shares how shifts in her habits helped her through her treatment and recovery and why there is no going back. Both consider what might have made them shift earlier.

What you’ll get out of tuning in:

• Why you might not be as healthy as you think you are
• How to get beyond treating the symptoms of your illness
• How to connect with nature as part of your recovery from cancer
• Why being intuitive is essential to your recovery from illness

Links:

• Julie Friedeberger: A Visible Wound
• NHR Essential Oils

Show Highlights:

• 0.30 Life as an aspiring lawyer.
• 8.24 The Breast Cancer diagnosis.
• 15.30 The role of the Plant Based Diet.
• 17.30  A holistic view of disease.
• 18.30 The role of meditation.
• 23.00 Pushing yourself to the limit and the consequences.
• 23.35 The role of essential oils.
• 26.40 Aligning yourself with nature.
• 29.25 Does it take a health crisis to provoke change?
• 31.45 A Cancer diagnosis means you re-prioritize.

Favorite Quotes:

• 22.00 “I’ve learnt to say no.” – Kate
• 23.00 “I’ve learnt that pushing myself like that is like pressing a self destruct button.” – Kate
• 27.50 ‘You don’t want to sleep walk. You want to appreciate the world you live in.”-  Kate

Guest BIO:

Kate Kennel is a working mum who has recently been declared cancer free. Kate was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly before her marriage and spent her first 6 months as a newly wed undergoing grueling rounds of chemo and radio therapy.

Kate has recently returned to work but has found a new work life balance and has some words of wisdom for women who are stretched to the max believe they have no reason to be concerned about their health.

There was a movie called The Candidate about a man who grew up as the son of a politician. His family valued achievement, fame, and success in the eyes of the world. Instead of following the path of his father, the son played by Robert Redford, became an idealistic environmentalist who valued truth and honesty. He was not interested in the limelight and was able to stay true to his cause and achieve a life he was happy with.

However, during the course of the movie different forces eroded away his values. Each different shiny thing that came along appealed first to his desire to bring exposure to his cause and then started appealing to his ego.The movie takes you through all the compromises he had to make until at the end of the movie he could no longer remember what he stood for.

The character gave up the environmental causes he fully believed in, his own integrity, and eventually lost the trust of those around him. His values were lost in pursuit of someone else’s agenda. Not aligning even small choices with your values can erode your credibility with others and more importantly yourself.

Values are deeply held beliefs that define who you are.

Privacy, authenticity, being fair and being of service are values. So are are status, wealth, beauty and fame. You can see that 2 people with these different sets of values will have different priorities and would view the world differently. Neither of these sets of values are wrong they are just different and the things these 2 people need to be happy would be different.

An example of a goal would be: Become a Yoga Health Coach. A goal is something you want to achieve. Values guide decisions and influence behavior. Maintaining strong values reinforces healthy boundaries.

Given the same opportunity two people, who each have different values would make completely different decisions. And the same person will often make different value based decisions as the circumstances of their lives change and sometimes their values shift.  When I was first starting out I wanted new and different experiences. I valued freedom and independence as I moved away from home to establish myself and began a new career. I enjoyed travel and doing new things. Now I did not change as a person, but my values changed after my husband and I had children. I started to value structure, setting down and establishing my roots.  It is not that my past values were “wrong,” they just fit a different time in my life. Now stability as a value is more important to me as a family value. Some opportunities are simply not as attractive to me as they would have been in the past.

Define Your Family Values

Some families value achievement and being the best at school, in sports, etc. Families that value achievement would encourage the behavior of never giving up and never giving in. In my family we value trust and being truthful with each other. No matter the outcome there is no failure. These are all lessons learned. So for one family getting a C on a test or course is a failure, for us it is a measure of what you have learned. We have always been truthful with our boys and now that they are older they feel comfortable talking with us when they are having problems.They both know that we would be more upset if they hid things from us than if they are caught doing something they should not have. Even when things go wrong we support each other and don’t care about how things appear to others. There is no one-size fits all to planning.

Balancing Values

Over this past year I have become more politically active. Politics has never interested me but my values drove me to choose to become more engaged. This has led to getting dozens of requests for my time and/or money from multiple organizations. There is a natural urge to try and do everything.  Since I have my other values as well;  valuing my health, time, and energy I need to make decisions as to which request to follow up with and which to let go.  Some of the things I let go of are great causes but they are just not a good fit for me right now. Which actions I take will reflect my values and how I prioritize them.

My values reflect my actions and the way I live. If action is not aligned with values there is a disconnect that will cost you; now or later.  I spent hours standing and marching in Washington DC at the Women’s March and I walked in the rain on earth day for the March for Science. Visiting my senator’s office, calling my representatives and signing petitions is so out of my comfort zone. Doing nothing was not an option for me, based on my values, but with this list in mind I can keep track of the bigger big picture.

Looking through this new perspective choosing between options becomes easier and naturally helps me prioritize my time and focus.

Values can and do change or become more urgent at different times. Reassessments are necessary from time to time.

Find Your Values Manifesto

1. Get clear on your personal values right now. Do not censor yourself. If money is a value right now – own it.  At certain times and in certain circumstances money is a great and necessary value. Keep it simple though – values don’t have to be lofty, they just need to be true for you.
2. Discover the values of those around you. Talk to the people you live with or interact with the most. You probably will have many of the same values but you may find differences. These differences can shed some light on conflicts you have with them.
3. Live your values or redesign them. Put your money where your mouth is. Live and work with your values and your group/family values until they become comfortable. If there are conflicts talk them out and come to a compromise or agreement about how to handle this. Look at your choices, with your own vision and values, and prioritize and make decisions with these in mind.

Set Your Value Compass

What do you really value?  What would cause you to regret an otherwise great opportunity?  At the end of the day if you keep your values straight you can feel good about whatever you accomplished.

Base your goals and actions on your values. My goal is to be a Yoga Health Coach, that is something meaningful for me to achieve. Maintaining strong values reinforces healthy boundaries, guides all my decisions and influences the choices and boundaries I make.

What do your values drive you to do?  Scroll down and comment. What is your value manifesto and how this will change your boundaries this week?

Why became really important when I began to architect habit change for my health.  I needed to dig into my motivation to prioritize new habits to heal. My first priority was to uplevel my relationship with food.

For many years I snacked to self soothe. I ate on the way to teach yoga, not from hunger but to calm down. I munched when I was bored or unhappy. I knew this coping mechanism had to go, excess weight was hurting me, but somehow snacking stayed.

Old patterns can be heavy and sticky, hard to shake off. When I became really sick my habit of emotional eating became an immediate liability. I had a huge opportunity to help myself and my clients make changes for thrive.

“If people who’ve faced a life-threatening illness can’t prioritize their own self-care, we have a real problem in our society.”  Michelle Segar author of No Sweat: How the Simple Science of Motivation Can Bring You a Lifetime of Fitness. What is the struggle all about?

Old Habits are Strong & Sticky

Our brains are on the front line of decision making. They look for patterns to ease the workload. New behaviors take the most processing power, but a habit or pattern is pretty efficient for the brain to manage. Our brains like efficiency so much they reward us when we default to habit with a release of dopamine. Dopamine is a feel good neurochemical.

source: sideplayer.com

The brain’s drive for efficiency creates side effects, makes it a little quirky, and gives habits big power. Sometimes our brains create stuff that isn’t there because of subconscious patterning. We fill in the blanks and create optical illusions. We recognize the familiar in the strange and will even make up patterns where none exist (pareidolia). Habits mold our lives.

If a habit exists the brain will often unconsciously default to it before there is time to consider an alternative. The key then is to replace unhealthy habits with healthier one to break out of our unconscious behavior. Try the healthier habit, repeat it to develop a pattern, then keep repeating until the new habit becomes the default option.

Habit Change Starts with the WHY

An abstract association of “ 3 meals of healthy food creates health” didn’t have the power to anchor me in new behavior. I had to go deeper to overwrite my habit of emotional eating.  To start I needed to shine a light on my motivation.

So What Motivates Change?

What you think makes sense might not work. Even success doesn’t guarantee you will stick with it. Weight loss relapse is a great example. Early in my life I lost and gained over 100 lbs more than once. Why? Changes could and did happen. I would relapse to old eating and snacking patterns.

I am not alone in this. According to the National Weight Loss Registry, 80% of people who work hard and lose weight will regain it within 1 year. Logically success, health, and feeling good should cement the new habits in place, but even this may not be enough. Here’s what the 20% who maintained weight loss (I count myself among them) did to make it work:

• They had deep strong motivation,
• A great why and put a structure,
• And healthy habits in place.

A get real why will get you to the table to build a structure for change. Getting healthy and free of pain got me to build the structure for new healthier habits. I felt and feel the connection between what and how I eat and how I feel. Strong self love and desire to thrive shifts my focus and provides tangible real time motivation to sip water or breathe instead of eat.

I still connect this on a daily level choice by choice and thought by thought.  I have taught myself to ask “Does this choice support the health of my tissues and bring balance to my nature?”  My why keeps me on track climbing, kaizening out of old unhealthy behavior towards evolving health.

Examine what inspires you to make the changes you seek.

Why needs to be a close companion that you can see and feel in your heart.  Spend some time to refine you why. Your why is your why, no shame and no blame involved no excuses needed.   Dive deep and examine what got you where you are? Does your why align you with your goals in this moment.

My favorite words to describe my why are motivating, consuming, touchable, immediate, and concrete.  What are yours?  Make a list of the qualities that motivate you. Identify the truth of your why. Why needs to touch each day and connect to the big picture and purpose, come from the inside not the outside.  What do you really want to uplevel in your life and why?

Use why to keep you moving when you feel like your feet are off the ground.  Make small steady improvements. When you need to exercise discipline (tapas) until the new habit anchors and gains power.

“Life without Tapas is like a heart without love”  – BKS Iyengar

Why empowers you to architect habit change.  Tapas or discipline puts the structure in place for habits to thrive.  Motivation is the touchstone to reach for when things get rough.  Scroll down and share your new healthy habit and how your why keeps you on track. This will help make the groove deeper and help you make this habit stick!

First there’s the emotional end of this major change  – the guilt trip we send ourselves on is a big one. Pack your bags ladies – this trip is long!

Your baby. Your everything. Handed over to another person. Left behind. Left to die in the streets!

Chances are basically 100% that you’ll cry on the first day, and if you’re me, subsequent days…

Then, we have this inconvenient shift in the family dynamic to deal with. New responsibilities thrust upon your husband (how rude!), causing strife and arguments. Struggling to find a new routine that gets all the sh*t done, and leaves you time for you. Welcome to the new normal.

Put Your Oxygen Mask On First

Like they say on the airplanes; “in the event of a drop in cabin pressure parental guardians must don their own oxygen masks before assisting children with theirs.”

Let’s just let that sink in for a second because in no way at all does this come naturally to a mama. But it could not be more important. Imagine: No oxygen in the cabin. You have two kids (and for comparison sake a husband who for some reason can’t do stuff). You hold your breath and struggle to get the mask on the first kid, then the second, then your husband, then yourself….. Oh wait. Snap. You died.

The moral of the story is that if you don’t take care of yourself first, you won’t have the juice, the energy, the ‘oxygen’ to take care of your family. It might seem counterintuitive to introduce new self care routines in the face of more responsibility (namely going back to work), but beware mama, the pressure is about to drop. Here are some tips to lessen the blow:

Get enough sleep.

Because no amount of binge watching Netflix, steaming over Fitz vs. Jake on Scandal, will give you the warm fuzzy good feels that a good night’s sleep will give you.

Try this: Change your perspective on when your ‘me time’ needs to be. Studies show that we are actually our most creative version of ourselves in the early morning. So instead of staying up way past 9pm, eyes squinting, just trying to ‘treat yourself’ to one more episode after a long day, try to dial your bedtime back, and swap those evening hours out for some sacred morning moments. Just you, a cup of tea, and the whole wide world at your fingertips.

Routines are the Bomb.

It seems cheezy, and for some just plain unnatural. To my husband the idea of creating a fixed sequence of actions surrounding our daily responsibilities was annoying (at first). But creating a routine for morning and evening tasks is the ultimate way to give yourself more time.

A routine is basically a bunch of habits, stacked on top of one another, and then made automatic. These are things that you do, one after another, without fail each day (or work day).

Try This: Make a gotta get done list. Include everything you want to achieve in the morning, and the things you need to check off your list at night. Lay out each task and determine how long it takes you, then order them in a way that makes most sense to you.

Commit to doing things in this fashion every morning and every night for a week. You’ll gain perspective on what works best when, and adjust your routine as needed. Before you know it you’ll have all the responsibilities, all the things that we have to get done in day, set on autopilot, leaving you feeling less stress, and finding more time for the things that matter.

Here’s an example of how I’ve structured my morning routine:

Don’t forget the snuggle time. It’s probably the most important part.

When I first wrote my list/set my intentions for what I wish to accomplish before work each day, it was a bit overwhelming, and felt unattainable. But assigning a window of time for each task (within reason, sometimes the baby wakes up early and then things have to be adjusted for sure), gave me a clear view of what I could reasonably check off in the a.m instead of waiting until after the long work day.

Check it out; by the time I leave for work every day, I’ve already given myself a ton of love through self massage, words of affirmation, exercise, journaling, and starting the day right with a green juice or smoothie! If that’s not a solid reason to create a routine, I don’t know what is!

To do all of these things in the morning doesn’t take long at all. I leave the house feeling filled up, and like I filled up my kids.

Take a Breather.

Especially in the first few weeks when you’re trying to ‘catch up’ on anything you missed while on Mat leave. Reintroducing yourself to the adult world is difficult enough without also having to cram your brains with information overload. Not to mention getting caught up on all the office gossip (if you’re unlucky enough to have those kinds of coworkers). It can feel totally draining.

Try This: Use your lunch break to separate yourself from the noise and the hustle. If you have never been the kind of person who takes lunch breaks, I’m right there with you mama, but you should try it because it’s AMAZING!

Step back, sit down in a quiet space (I go out to my car), and just sit in silence. Let your thoughts float in and out of your head, not holding on to any of them (don’t worry, they’ll all be waiting for you when you return).
This is basically what’s referred to as meditating, but without the stress that comes with the word (agh! I can’t doooo itttt!- said everyone ever). Taking even just a few minutes to yourself to inhale the good and exhale the suck can be a godsend. Get grounded. Center yourself. And dislodge the crankiest of cranky emotions.

Last But Never Least – Do You Girl!

You may have been put on this earth to procreate, but you’re certainly capable of so much more. Your babies are fine mama. You’ve given them a solid foundation, and the time you have with them is well spent.

So when you’re out of the house, WORK IT! Work hard. Have fun, laugh, and talk with your co-worker friends! Feel like yourself again. And feel awesome because you’re an awesome mom and an awesome employee. Killin’ it!

Everyone has their own pace, especially in the beginning of the journey. The beauty of the Yoga Health Coaching program for new coaching is that there is mentoring on so many levels from a team of coaches who are all committed to your success.

In a world where we don’t have natural support systems it becomes even more important to build your own tribe. Who is on your wellness team? Who is supporting your growth as the world around us evolves. Can we find this tribe before something catastrophic happens to force this process?

Explore the value of support by creating continuity in coaching.

Tune in and get tips on how support can help you:

• Go through life changes with an element of ease.
• Help people uplevel their value.
• Learn how to experience nourishment. 
• Create a community around your coaching work.

Show Highlights:

• Staying ahead of the future needs and desires 2.18
• Creating a culture of community and help 10.56
• Have a transformational experience and grow 12.12

Links from the Conversation:

• Living Ayurveda
• Yoga Health Coaching

Favorite Quotes from the Conversation:

• Be open and receptive in the face of change.
• Move from being a star to being a sage.

The modern global yoga movement is driven by female householders, not male aesthetics. It’s driven by women with children or grandchildren, or women who want to eventually have children and grandchildren. Back in the day yogis were men supported by women. They were men who had women do the cooking and cleaning, men who had women who tended to the needs of the family.

The male yogis of yore dedicated their lives to developing their capacities, particularly in spirit and in mind. They attuned their bodies in the pursuit of their awakening.

These days most of us, myself included, are on a similar, yet distinctive path. At the heart of it, we’re into awake living design, a.k.a. conscious lifestyle design. We modern yoginis are continually upgrading our lives to experience more of what we want to experience. We have more flexibility, more adaptability and more choice than the women and men who came before us. What we have in common with the yogis of yore is the desire to be free, adaptive, evolved, and awake. Yet, how we are moving the edge of yoga forward is distinctly more connected into every aspect of our lives. We may be more or less concerned with our alignment in downward dog, and even more concerned about how our practice brings light to our families, to our conversations, to our projects, to our communities.

The Modern Global Yoga Movement

Our yoga, as modern women, is about an integrative, interconnected life. Yes, we are into developing our capacities in spirit and mind, but we’re just as interested in developing our capacities in body, in relationship, in family, in community and in connectivity.

As women, our bodies are more dynamic. We expand and contract like the oceans, pulled by the moon. Our bodies grow other bodies, release them, and shapeshift into the next phase. Women’s endocrine systems and hormonal harmony are much more intricate than men’s.  When we are aware of our harmonic nature, we thrive. When we notice our dynamic feminine nature in how we pulse through the day, through the month, on and off the mat, we thrive. When we notice the rhythms of our families, which cycle around us as the center, we thrive.

We discover ahimsa internally as we yield to a natural sense of non-violence to our “self.”

Once we allow the yoga movement to evolve through us, we release the need to be so serious and so isolated in our yoga practices. In that, we subtly release the need to compete. First this release is noticed within. We stop competing with ourselves.

We start to enter the collaborative mindset. We collaborate with our breath, our mind, our emotions, our body. This shift takes time. It matures us as yogis. It honors the ancient path of yoga. We dissolve the old patterns of self-sabotage, which were part of our history as a second class citizen. We discover ahimsa internally, as meaning non-violence to our self.

Perhaps simultaneously or perhaps a little later, we stop competing with each other. After eons of our historical need to compete for resources, for attention, for power, we become aware of an end to this subtle, subconscious cycle. This marks the beginning of our next stage of needs and desires for collective leadership.

We Awaken to Revelations Within

The next shift that I see happening is the honoring of our inner truth. We awaken the power of our intuition. In this awakening we see more clearly how we’ve been trained to violate our intuition. We’ve been trained, for centuries or millennia, to not trust ourselves, our bodies, our emotions, our cycles, our patterns.

We come to yoga for something peripheral – weight loss, stress relief, back pain. And the yoga, by its very nature, integrates us. The yoga weasels out breaches of trust. The yoga exposes our human ancestral wounds. The yoga heals the wounds, breath by breath.

As our practice of yoga integrates us, our trust evolves. Our capacity of self-trust, resting on the back of our developed intuition, serves as the radar for developing our other capacities. Our attention turns to the whole.

The Emerging Need of the Modern Yoga Woman

I’ve been at the helm of Yogahealer for 16 years. In this work I facilitate and witness massive transformations in people’s lives. People heal their inner wounds born of self-sabotage. Then they empower their bodies and minds with prana. They awaken their tejas – or inner radar –  to direct their lives. They integrate the yogic habits that lead to longevity and easeful, disease-free living. And then something else happens.

What happens next is a new desire.

The new desire is for a deeper connectivity.

Connectivity is the new black. We want more intimacy in our relationships. We want more depth in our conversations, we want our lives to matter – to connect to the needs of the next generations in our home, the earth. We want the vibe between us to be rich, vibrant, expansive, evolving and shot through with co-creativity.
When these evolving needs aren’t met, we know something is missing. Because we know and trust our own revelations, because we’re no longer sourcing power from competition, we become highly attuned to another level of potential. This next realm is juicy, has depth, is potent with meaning, contribution, connection. It leads us to our unchartered territory.

Until something is named it often lurks as a feeling. I am formally naming this emerging desire for the modern yogis of the world, this movement driven by ancient men and now modern women. Check in now. Do you have a desire for more connectivity? Do you want to connect on more cylinders in your day to day life?

If so, give voice to your desire. Invest attention in your urge for deeper connection. Your emerging desires are intelligent. What are your desires? Name them.  Better conversations? Knowledge of your ecosystem? Mentoring or being mentored? Body wisdom? Community connection? What is it for you?

Take a moment to honor your desires as sacred. As evolved. As that which brings the future into the present. In that way our desire to uplevel our connectivity – not just to ourselves – but to each other, to our core peeps, to our local ecosystem, to our communities, our causes, and our shared planet, I hope to make clear and conscious this emerging need in each of us.

A posse of my yoga mom + yoga educator colleagues have rolled out some great books, videos, teaching tools and audios

Check them out, and let them know I sent you

Make sure to scroll down to the amazing teaching tools from Go Grounded

Indy and her friends love the Whale Yoga DVD  – it’s our party hit and wind down tool for sleepovers

Giselle’s stories and coloring books make hip birthday party gifts

Amy Saltzman is taking on the teen realm of mindfulness and filling a void that needs more voices

Lisa Flynn’s Yoga 4 Classroom is going straight to my kindergarden teacher

(Yup – Indy wanted to ride the school bus and go to kindergarten until we depart for Mexico… despite all the unschooling talk

Check it all out below

Kids Yoga Stories

We have three books from this publisher: Anna and her rainbow-colored yoga mats,  Sophia’s Jungle Adventure, and Luke’s A to Z of Australian Animals

Anna and her rainbow-colored yoga mats is about a girl who has a hard time hearing

She starts at a new school and practices yoga by herself on brightly colored yoga mats during recess

She images traveling the world and having new experiences

At first her schoolmates just question her behavior, but eventually she meets a boy who also has hearing loss, and who also reads lips like she does

They begin practicing yoga together during recess, and before you know it more children joined in the fun of practicing yoga and imagining new adventures

A great inspirational, fun, and engaging story filled with colorful illustration and large type

Luke’s A to Z of Australian Animals

Written by Giselle Shardlow and illustrated by Emily Gedzyk

This is a yoga book, an alphabet book, and a coloring book all rolled into one

 Starting with the letter A for anemone, this book features coloring pages for each letter that feature an animal or fish

Each page also has yoga pose on it (anemone is “Happy Baby Pose”), and an image of a child doing the pose

In the back are tips and instructions for parents and/or teachers to help you make the most of this multitasking book

Sophia’s Jungle Adventure

Written by Giselle Shardlow and illustrated by Emily Gedzyk

Sophia and her family go on a jungle adventure

Along the way, they see objects and animals that can also be yoga poses (canoes, for example, suggest boat pose)

Filled with colorful illustrations, each page in the book moves the story along and also shows sophia doing the specific pose related to the animal or action on that page

In the back is a list of poses with illustrations as well as tips for adults to help their kids make the most of this book

Imaginations: Fun Relaxation Stories and Meditations for Kids

By Carolyn Clarke

This book is an all around good time! Beginning with an introduction for adults on the importance of relaxation and one for children, this book takes kids on journeys of their imaginations! But before adventures begin, there are relaxation yoga poses for kids to do in order to prepare

Photos of a child doing each pose help children see how to do each pose

Then, children are asked to imagine they are in a large hot air balloon, under the sea, planting a magical seed or living in a tree house! Each page of text guides the imagination, and a full-color illustration on the facing page adds a little creativity to each idea

CDS

Still Quiet Place – Mindfulness for Young Children

This would be a great album to play when you lie down for a nap with your child, or when you just want to relax

Dr Amy Saltzman narrates this cd, and she gently instructs listeners to find their still quiet place

She notes that this place is available all the time

“It’s always inside you,” she says

still quiet place place mindfulness for teens

Still Quiet Place – Mindfulness for Teens

Facing the stresses of teenage life head-on, this album aims to give adolescents tools for being mindful and being happy

After a brief introduction, the second track begins, aptly, “Give it a rest …” then into a soothing guided medidation that enourages letting go of the stresses of homework, school gossip, family life, etc

Dr Amy Saltzman narrates, and speaks softly, smoothly and calmly

In the ninth track “Movin’” Saltzman instructs the listener to hear her instructions and then crank up a cd of their choosing, and move, paying attention to the effects of just being with the music and nothing else

This CD is something I wish I had when I was a teen!

Kings and Queens of the Forest – Yoga songs for kids Vol 2

This CD by Kira Willeytakes kids on a new adventure with every song! Folksy and soft yet upbeat, this album gets kids up and moving! Whether it be doing the cricket hop or tapping a drum, each number engages little ones to skip to the beat and be silly at the same time!

DVD

Whale Yoga -for Kids Ages 2+

This interactive DVD is great for younger kids! My daughter, Indigo, 5, and her friend were glued to the TV and mimicking whale yoga moves and waves the entire time! Throughout the instruction, the yoga teacher speaks slowly and articulately, giving simple instructions kids can easily follow

She takes everyday yoga poses such as Mountain Pose and (the pose where you bend down and touch your toes), Cobra pose etc and turns them into fun whale yoga poses the kids just love

Images of real whales between poses were a hit!

GAMES

Grounded – The Elevator Series

Flash Cards

Elevator Series Pose Cards

This game features poses on flashcards that demonstrate how the pose should look

Adult instructions and suggestions to talk about the pose on the back of the cards, so you can give more instruction to your child

The cards also what the effects of the poses are on the body

When kids are in a focusing mode, this seems to work and they love to try new poses and do “harder ones” after a few easier standing poses

My daughter said she liked it and would like to continue to play the game

The poses correspond with the chakra system

Chips

This is the flash cards, to go! Pose chips in a convenient travel tube allow you to take the pose cards on the road!

 Rainbow kids yoga ABC yoga cards

Each card has a costumed child in a yoga pose that is shaped like a letter of the alphabet

No words, just pictures, with an intro card for adults

Pure fun all around

Written by Lisa Flynn, Illustrated by James Vaughn

This great set of educational cards can be used in the classroom or at home

It starts with six basic concepts: Let’s Breathe, At Your Desk, Stand Strong, Loosen Up, Be Well, and Imagination Vacation

Each concept is accompanied with text and images for adults to review, and then the fun begins

This oversized set of cards shows illustrations of students doing certain things that relate to each concept

One, titled Balloon Breath, for example, focuses on calm, focus and clarity

It shows a student clutching a balloon at her belly

On the reverse side are instructions on how to do the balloon breath

Each card also features fun facts for adults to read that relate again to the concepts