Change the World with My Own Two Hands

I wanted to change the world, like most young 20-somethings, I was ambitious, driven, righteous (still am), and didn’t want a career, so I opted for only 10 months of school instead of 2 years. I wanted my adventures to start sooner rather than later. I also felt a deep calling to help other people on their wellness journey because I had already had some healing adventures and was fortunate to have incredible guides and mentor along the way. I wanted to do my part to help fix the broken belief systems around health, healing, body-image and negative self-talk. I thought I could do it with my own two hands. Literally.

During massage school we spent one week on business training and I quickly learned that in order to have a successful massage practice I would need to stay in one place for several more years in order to build up a client base which would afford me enough money to then travel the world—this is not what I had in mind. I worked harder. I pushed myself to finish earlier. I knew that if I were good I could get clients fast and then really make a difference in the world.

Wanting to be “Fixed”

Here’s the catch, I was good at what I did. People sought me out at the student clinic. However I quickly learned was that people came to my massage table expecting me to FIX them and I realized I couldn’t do that. Even doctors can’t “fix” people. People have to want to be helped. As one who seeks massage therapy and one who practices bodywork we have to enter into a space of reciprocity—yet I believed at the time that I could fix everyone who walked through my door. As a result of trying to take on the world and it’s aches and pains, I got sick.

This particularly stressful situation put me out of commission for months. At 19 I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease. Living with Lyme + major stress = intense flare up. When I plugged my life into this equation, I was down for the count. I had rashes on my hands and couldn’t work in the clinic. I had brain fog and severe mood swings. I placed an unreasonable and unrealistic expectation on myself to be able to cure others with my bare hands. Plus, I didn’t know how to create boundaries to keep my own psyche safe and not take on other people’s stuff. I would walk out of each massage session exhausted, while the other person would walk out revitalized. I gave it all away without knowing how to do anything differently. So I did something I’d never done before. I quit. I quit massage therapy school.

The Freedom to Save Myself

I realized that I couldn’t live my life putting off the things that I really wanted. I didn’t want to go down the road of “shoulda, coulda, woulda.” I took two years off and traveled the world and wrote about my experiences. I stayed with friends and lived frugally. I loved every moment of those experiences. I got to know myself better. I learned to develop and hone my intuition for listening to and honoring what my body, mind and spirit needed at that time. I realized that this was the way I wanted to continue to live my life— to have freedom to call the world “home,” the freedom to save myself and inspire others to do the same, the freedom to care for myself first and from that place of feeling deeply connected my own own center, then I could offer my knowledge to others.

I still knew I wanted to help people, but this time I was clear—I wanted to help people HELP THEMSELVES. I still knew I wanted to make a BIG difference in the world. I moved back to my home town where I attended an awesome liberal arts college, and as part of my life plan I earned my 200-hour yoga teacher training certificate. The difference between massage school and yoga teacher training was I engaged in the yoga teacher training for personal reasons—I didn’t want to become a yoga teacher. The point was not to make money, the point was to learn about myself.

The Right Motivation

Fast forward five years and I found yogahealer.com and Cate Stillman. My main motivation for becoming a Yoga Health Coach was not to make money (although that played a key role)—I wanted to become a yoga health coach because I wanted to learn Ayurveda for me.

I’m having a realization as I write these words—I’m seeing a very interesting theme arise—the context for doing something (anything) in my life (however mundane), if motivated by scarcity, burnout is close behind. When I’m motivated by self-empowerment and further knowledge, I THRIVE.

I didn’t start teaching yoga until three years after completing my 200-hour yoga teacher training certification. For many years, I simply practiced. By then I was under no illusions that when I taught yoga I wasn’t going to fix anybody. I was no longer motivated by a need to “save the world.” The great thing about getting older is that my worldview changes and my perspective broadens. I hope that continues to happen as I age because I am still so young!

Luckily I’m still learning because it is a lifelong process of understanding how to have a body. Because at each new phase in life, the body changes. Every seven years we shed our skin as human beings. Every year we change with the seasons. Every season there is an opportunity to reinvent ourselves. No joke. Continually learning is, for me, is the only way to live!

I had, yet another, experience of the necessity of tuning my attention to my own body in order to be of greater service. I had to pay attention to my own health, the health of my ancestors that was/is still inside me, and how to transform that into workable energy. I could not be “fixed,” no one can be “fixed” and I can’t save the world unless someone is ready to have a deeper conversation with me about how to have a body.

I can’t save the world. We can’t save the world. All I CAN do is offer “A clearing,” as Werner Erhard says, “for love to show up in.”

Top 4 Questions to Ask Yourself if you Want to Save the World

1. Start with YOUR aim—what role do YOU play on planet earth? Why do you exist in the world?
2. Ask yourself, What am I sacrificing or putting off for “Someday later?”
3. Check out your own self-care regime. Do you practice what you preach?
4. Remember that the energy to work is directly linked with the energy of play—play feeds your work and vice versa. How are you sourcing your energy? From what purpose? With whom? What’s the payoff for work and play?

Here’s Shinay, our YHC Coaches Ally sharing her tips on taking your coaching online.

Here are Shinay’s top TIPS to take your coaching online:

1. Learn your tools + online call platform.
2. Speak into a microphone + bring the group together.
3. Get your students the results they want.  Experience the same “togetherness,” online as you would for your in person group.
4. Take your “skills” online.

It’s fun to see how coaches are expanding the reach of their communities through online coaching. There is no reason, this can’t be you!

Enjoy!

My husband, family, and friends are all very supportive of the growth I’m experiencing in becoming a Certified Yoga Health Coach and starting my own business from scratch, but there’s something remarkably precious about the friends and partners I’ve created in this Yoga Health Coaching course.

Not only is our friendship made out of our shared desire for deep conversation beyond the blah, blah, blah and into uncharted territory of wellbeing; it’s also forged with the underlying principles of continual transformation as the basis for our work. What I mean is that we don’t expect each other to stay the same. When I get on the phone with Grace one week and then again three weeks later, I don’t expect to hear the same story out of her mouth—in fact I’m thrilled when we are able to celebrate our growth.

“Hi Shinay” Grace answers the phone.

“Hi!” I blurt out enthusiastically. And my whole body relaxes because I know that this person won’t judge me. “I’m really having a hard time right now. I’m stuck, again. I can’t seem to get people to sign up for a strategy session with me, and I really need to start making money and I feel desperate and I don’t want to feel desperate because I don’t want to be needy because it’s creepy and I feel needy—”

Grace cuts me off (thank God!) “What’s your energy around money?”

“Uhh…. I’m in a process of examining that very thing…” I trail off.

“You seem like you don’t spend money easily, is that true?” Grace probes.

“You’re right, I don’t,” I’m a tight wad, I think to myself, and my back hurts, and I’m stressed out, and I need to make money, and shit, she’s onto me.

“What should I do Grace?” I really want change around this part of myself. I really want to not be so concerned with money because I know in my brain that money is energy, and money is flow, but in my life, in actuality, I seem to be stuck somewhere.

“It seems to me that your hand is closed very tightly into a fist (around money). My hand used to be open but flat so that I couldn’t hold anything. Create your hand like a scoop for money. Stay open, pierce the blockage that you have around money, and shift your mindset.”

Simple. Not easy.

So, I’m in the process of shifting my mindset around money. I continue to catch myself in moments of scarcity and visualize my hand scooping not gripping.

And I am still in the process. It all takes time.  I’ve adopted the KAIZEN approach to everything in my life, especially my grip around money.  In moments when I feel tight, I remember that “this is not a race,” and relax my whole body. It’s helping, and I’m not finished with this work.

Thank you Grace!

Growth is sometimes small and sometimes massive. There is a unique bond that we share as a community of Yoga Health Coaches—one of our shared values reflects this—“Raise our own bar, align our actions, and own our results.” The status quo says, “Don’t change.” Around here, we value development as a way of life. In fact we design our lives to be reflections of the natural cycles and changes so clearly seen in nature.

These are the most important things I’ve learned from having an accountability partner:

#1. Schedule Integrity

#2. The Cutting Edge of What’s Possible

#3. I’m not alone!

#1. Schedule Integrity: Every week or once a month or twice a year I have my accountability partner’s name highlighted in my calendar for a 60-minute time chunk. Yes, they are worth that much time! And when that appointment comes, often we get right to the meat of our work in the world yet other times we just talk about our husbands, dogs, children, or what we’re making for lunch.

#2. The Cutting Edge of What’s Possible: Simply sharing where I’m at in the process of life, business, and combining the two, revitalizes my intention and helps me take action in the right direction.

It almost doesn’t matter what we talk about because our relationship is much more than just social niceties, it’s a conversation with evolution at the forefront. Those meeting times elevate my soul. The best part about this is that most of my accountability partners I just met last year! We inspire and enliven each other to take action.

#3. I’m not alone! I forget so easily. Often I feel like I’m floating all alone in the world trying to come up with names for my business, taglines, marketing schemes, and the best ways to offer what I have to offer in this world.

1. Choose a partner who has qualities that impress, scare, excite, intrigue, intimidate you. Adopt an attitude of “leaning in”—connect on the edge of what’s possible. Aim to be useful to one another, not merely congratulatory.
2. Call, text, or post a message on Facebook.
3. Set a few ground rules such as time, day, and topic of conversation.
4. Then schedule a 15 minute phone conversation twice a month, at the ever least.

Commit to learning from one another, this will be a bond of growth, not of staying the same.

Congratulations on taking the next step toward your future self.

Best,

Shinay

I want to tell you a story about me at age 14 through 21:

In middle school I had really bad acne. I mean really severe, red welts all over my face. It continued until I was about 21. I struggled with body image issues, with wanting to wear a mask and grow a beard—looking at pictures of myself now, I can see how my shoulders caved in and I just looked sad. In those photos I looked like I wanted to hide.

Teenagehood was not an easy time for me, (is it for anyone?) To combat the angry, red bumps, I tried everything—off the shelf scrubs, creams, and masks, medicated washes, cleansers, and topical treatments. I tried prescription pills, I tried natural remedies, urine therapy, even chaparral cleanses—everything except meditation, earlier lighter dinner and no snacking (but that’s another blog post).

As a result, I developed really good hygiene habits and a consistent home practice of caring for my skin every damn day. I became religious about my skincare regime. I both loved and dreaded that time I would spend in the bathroom examining my skin to see if what I had tried the day before was working—if only I knew about emotional ama (toxins) back then.

Reflecting on that that time in my life with the knowledge I have now, I recognize the lesson I learned in caring for myself and establishing that daily habit and home practice might have been the best thing that could that came from that experience. While I stayed home and tried to get my “beauty sleep” my friends stayed up late smoking dope and drinking. I noticed that the swelling in my face went down when I got more sleep.

Creating habits and daily home practice is a constant process and application that includes these principles—know your why, get specific, start small, take aim, take action, practice, and repeat.

1. Know Your Why:

This is key in honing your senses and locating your real reason for taking action.

For me, my why was superficial at first—I wanted the red welts gone. But there was also another deeper, reason: I wanted to be liked, I wanted to be kissed by a boy, I wanted to make friends and change the world. I wanted people to take me seriously and treat me with respect. I thought that if I had clear skin these things would happen.

2. Choose a time of day:

What will you do and when? Get specific about time of day, duration of practice, and location.

Morning and evening routines were a must as a teen. I would set my alarm an hour and a half early so that I would have time to wash and treat my skin. I didn’t wear face makeup, that just irritated everything, but I did wear mascara—lots of mascara.

Now my daily routine goes something like this: alarm rings at 5:50am (time trigger). Open my eyes and take five conscious breaths. Then I get up, walk into the bathroom, scrape my tongue, wash my face, pee. Then I walk into the kitchen and drink 1 liter of warm water.

3. Start small 

It’s important to start small because you don’t want to give yourself backlash (whiplash in real life).

My acne didn’t all arrive at once, I started with products I had at home first, and then the glaring blisters got worse and my WHY (see Know Your Why) became more important, my actions got more rigorous and I became more disciplined. I started with small steps to clear my acne.

Not used to waking up early? Start with 15 minutes earlier than you usually get out of bed. Don’t dial the alarm back by a whole hour… yet.

Lastly, decide how many days of the week is reasonable for you to feel consistent and disciplined without being too rigid. As a friend of mine once said to me, “If it’s going to cause more agony not to eat the piece of chocolate, then just go ahead and eat the piece of chocolate.” Or said another way, for high velocity types like me, “too rigid” leads to brittle and cracking (The opposite of ease, which is another blog post waiting to be written.)

Happy Home Practice and making Habits Stick!

Until soon,

Shinay

It was November 6, 2014.  My fiance and I (we got married a year later) were living with my mom and dad in a three bedroom house in rural Arizona. I had just signed up for Yoga Health Coaching and was about to embark on an epic journey that continues today.

It started with Body Thrive and eating an Earlier, Lighter, Dinner. 

I called a house meeting that morning. My family and soon-to-be-husband stood around the kitchen island. I remember saying something like this, “Hey! So, I’ve finally found a way to incorporate everything I love to do and make money at it. I just signed up to be a Yoga Health Coach. It’s a 15 month training and certification program where I get to kick ass, take names, and learn new skills to become a certified Yoga Health Coach.”

Took a deep breath. They continued to stare at me, a little unsure of what I was saying. I felt the warmth from Jesse’s arm near mine, I noticed the stubble on my dad’s chin, and the way my mom shifted from one foot to the other.

“Look guys, shit’s going to get real around here because I’m going to be doing things a little bit differently. I’m going to be eating lunch as my biggest meal of the day and dinner is going to be at 5:30. I’m also going to go to bed at 10pm no matter what.”

Follow through with this big idea.

Paused, but only for a moment before I launched in again. I needed my family to understand how serious I was because I couldn’t convince myself through my own doubts. I have a history of being the black sheep of my family and making impulsive decisions like moving to Brazil and France and India for months at a time. I could tell they thought this was another one of those impulses. There was some tiny part of me that needed my family to help hold me accountable because I wasn’t sure if I would be able to follow through with this big idea.

“I’m going to need for you to see me as someone who makes a lot of money and who makes a significant difference in the world.” I told them I needed them to believe in me because I didn’t yet believe I could do any of it.

I continued to talk at them, “I also want to ask you if you’d be willing to commit to cook one meal a week. A meal that I can eat—and look, I have this handy recipe book!”—I pulled out Cate’s Body Thrive Recipe Book. But the thing is, I need you to make it for lunch, not for dinner so you’ll probably have to make the day or night before.

A rush of relief came over me

This might also mean that we don’t eat dinner together or that I may be eating something different than you’re eating. Is that okay with you?” They smiled and nodded. A rush of relief came over me. That was almost too easy. My mom beamed at me across the kitchen island, her round face glowing. My dad nodded and then smiled. As I turned toward my future husband, his green eyes shone, but I thought I detected a hint of questioning in his look.

Even today, I still believe they didn’t fully understand the extent to what they were agreeing to. Nor did I. “One more thing,” I added, “When you cook, I need you to make extra so that there are intentional leftovers. This is really going to to help me out.” That’s how Earlier, Lighter Dinner started in my household.

It lead to amazing results.

It took many months for everyone to get with the program, but as a result my husband started to notice that we could actually commune around the dinner table instead of just stuff our faces and pretend to listen to each other. 

My dad noticed that when he actually ate breakfast and lunch he didn’t need to overeat at dinner and he found that he slept better. My mom started to notice that cooking earlier and making less complicated meals for dinner was actually easier!

I started to notice that my family enjoyed the food that I made—marinated kale salads, light soups, and simple, simple meals. My mom started coming to my public yoga classes and my dad started stretching at home. And just last month my dad came to his very first yoga class every! Whoot!

It continues to optimize my life.

So here’s the deal, I’ve found that when I want to make a shift, when I am able to voice my desire(s) out loud, the Universe hears me, and the people around me hear my request and in turn everyone responds. I believe the Universe wants to give us what we want, we just have to be clear.

Eating an earlier, lighter dinner enables me to go to bed early, get up early, and live my life the way that I want. Of course there’s always a give and take but it all started with a conversation. When we initiate from the heart, who knows what might happen?

Until next time,

Shinay

How to eat treats, mindfully, and ask the big question, “What would deeply nourish me, now?”

Let’s just cut to the chase. Yes, I eat cookies. But I’m more of an ice cream girl myself.

Special occasion treats, that’s what I want to talk about first. When it comes to eating mindfully, the number one thing to remember is:

#1 Be ready to receive and ask: “What would be deeply nourishing and satisfying right now?”

When my husband I were on honeymoon last October, I ate shave ice almost every day. (Yes, that’s correct, it’s SHAVE ice, not shavED ice). After a summer of organizing a wedding for 150 people, planning our honeymoon, moving (twice), and doing it mostly on my own (my husband works summers as a wildland firefighter), boy was I ready to receive. My husband and I stayed on the island of Kauai for three weeks. Do I do eat cookies, ice cream or shave ice everyday normally? No.

“Treat treats as treats,” Michael Pollan wrote in his book, Food Rules, “There is nothing wrong with special occasion foods, as long as every day is not a special occasion.” What Pollan writes about is the fact that treats have become routine, habitual even, because they are made so easy to get our hands on. He writes that treats are one of the great pleasures in life,  but unless you’re willing to shell out and make the whole pie from scratch, don’t shovel it in your pie hole.

If we eat treats every day, they no longer become special and we can no longer receive their full benefit.

I eat cookies (or shave ice) when I am ready to receive a heavy-duty treat—when I really desire it. I bake them myself. In the past 10 years, I’ve learned that when I’m stressed and my habit body craves sugar, it’s usually a sign to move in the opposite direction, away from stimulation because I’m not ready to receive—I’m plugged into a lower vibration and sourcing sugar (or caffeine or alcohol) for stimulation or suppression.

Being ready to receive means being conscious about what would be most optimal for my body now.  “I had a bad day (or a good day!) and I deserve a cookie,” does not qualify as a special occasion treat. “I’m bored (hot, tired, scared, sad, happy, etc.) so I need a cookie,” is not a special occasion either.  

When I am able to pause, and ask myself, “What would be deeply nourishing and satisfying right now?” The response that my body gives is, “I want to feel better,” and I know (after years of misunderstandings with body) that cookies will not make me feel better in the long (or short!) run.

In grade school my friends used to tease me get  mad because I had incredible will-power. I was always the last to finish my ice cream—licking, and licking, and licking, twirling and swirling my tongue around and around the chocolate chocolate fudge instead of taking big bites “like a normal person.” I relished this ice cream. I liked to savour it because it was a treat.

Yesterday a friend took me out to lunch and we ordered dessert (on my suggestion because I’m not a purist and because I love a good chocolate torte). I took half of my half home and the taste still lingers today. “Pay more, eat less,” as Michael Pollan wrote in his book Food Rules. When the mood arises, when the pleasure presents itself, when I pay more for something, or when I make it myself, I actually need to eat less of it. It’s that quality of savoring that I’m talking about.

For me this means that high quality treats come in small amounts—that chocolate torte is still in the refrigerator three days later. Yesterday it was a treat, today it feels like a chore. Why? Honestly, I’m not entirely sure but it has something to do with the essence and mood of the situation of being at lunch with a dear friend. Yesterday we were celebrating and today I would rather have a small handful of raisins for dessert. Call me crazy but I’ve always been the kid who’s Halloween candy went stale after years of not eating it all.

Eating something, “just because it’s there” has never appealed to me. I eat for pleasure and I know from years of experience, eating treats every day does not make me feel good. When I was a kid I learned that if I fussed enough, I would get to have another cookie. As an adult, I can eat as many damn cookies as I want and it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m tired and in need of real nourishment—you know, sleep, deep breathing, and quiet walks in nature!

The second thing to consider about eating mindfully is:

#2 If there’s hesitation of any kind (physical or mental), wait.

I remember the moment I realized I didn’t actually like pizza. It was a Saturday afternoon I was in the 10th grade and my friend Michelle had a new boyfriend. I picked up my BFF, Lacey, from her house and we drove to the nearest Pizza Hut, giggling and listening to Fleetwood Mac, anticipating meeting the new member of our inner circle, Phil. We arrived, tumbled out of the car, sidled inside and there she was with her arms and legs wrapped around him, their faces inches from each other. Lacey and I couldn’t contain our adolescent shock and horror at the sight of our best friend tangled up in someone we barely knew. I shrecked in disgust and delight. “Hi-eeeee!”

As we sat there gossiping and waiting for the pizza to arrive, I looked around the restaurant and noticed the others—an elderly couple, a family of six, some teens from another school, a single, bald-headed man—I felt uncomfortable and realized I really didn’t want to be there anymore. The conversation swirled above my head. I felt unwanted. I squirmed and waited for the food.

When the pizza arrived I looked at the greasy cheese, at my friends reaching for slices, at the way they continued to talk and eat, without even looking what they were putting in their mouths. I excused myself and went to the bathroom, the only place I could be semi-alone.

I didn’t want to eat that food. I knew how it would make me feel and I didn’t want to feel that way. There was hesitation. I waited. I excused myself from the table. I don’t remember what happened next, but that was a turning point in my life when I decided to start listening more closely to my body and my innate intelligence.

And the last tip for eating mindfully is:

#3 Know yourself.

Svadhyaya means self study in Sanskrit. If your tendency is to over-indulge, then just skip it (whatever it may be). If your tendency is to under nourish yourself, then lean in. Know yourself, it’s a process that takes a lifetime. Be gentle.

After I learned about Ayurveda and The Six Tastes, I started to incorporate something sweet into every meal and have eradicated those sharp pains craving for SUGAR!

When I say, “incorporate something sweet” I mean beans are sweet, butter is sweet, grains are sweet, yams, raisins, figs, dates, and peaches are sweet. Bananas, berries, and oranges are sweet. Cinnamon is sweet. Carrots are sweet.

We are all human which means that we must allow ourselves the full spectrum of human experience including pleasure and fulfillment of objective desire. In my experience it’s a process of rebellion and realignment.

Does living a healthy lifestyle mean never eating cookies again? Not right now, not for me. That statement may change as I evolve. Does being a yogi mean never drinking beer again ever again? For some it could, for me it doesn’t. Not right now.

Living according to Svadhyaya, self-study, means creating certain, clear boundaries with ourselves. It means listening on a deeper, more informed level—to our intellect, emotions, body, spirit—and starting to make better choices with all parts of ourself in mind.  

This won’t happen overnight. First we pay attention. Then we get information. Then we act in accordance to our inner knowing. Get in the conversation about nourishment. REAL nourishment. What does that look like, feel like, taste life for you?

We all have our own upleveling to continue moving toward—that’s why I’ve chosen this life path. It’s not a one time, quick fix kinda deal, this is the way I choose to live my life. Start to listen to your innate wisdom about what really makes you feel good and when is it time to celebrate.

Catch you next time,

Shinay Tredeau
P.S. My favorite ice cream is chocolate, chocolate chip.