Knowing your self from the inside is self-care.  Can you think of three self-care practices that you do regularly? Looking at your list are they extrinsic, meaning does it require someone or something else (ie massage, pedicure, glass of wine)? What would it be like to take your self-care practices to the next level by learning intrinsic self-care?  Personally, before I can integrate a new practice I need to know where I am starting from, what my current behaviors and triggers are and why do I want to evolve them. For the holidays, acknowledging my comfort eating style was a good start.

I tend to be introverted and shy away from holiday gatherings.  When party tasks are delegated I am the one that signs up for cutlery.  This is my way of staying accountable and actually attending, as I know that the hostess and persons who brings a big bowl soup would be terribly annoyed with me if I did not show up with spoons.

Getting ready for a holiday affair, my old self would drink a few glasses of wine (liquid courage), then grab the Cutlery and head for the car.  I would take a deep breath and tell myself, everything will be okay. You only have to stay an hour. My senses would be overstimulated with holiday lights, sounds and smells.  My digestive system greeted by soda pop, Chex mix, and holiday themes of cheese, gluten and white sugar.

In large groups, I tend to accommodate.  Why? I want to socially fit in with the tribe.  To be accepted and liked. I would eat food I didn’t want to eat because I wanted to fit in, knowing that I would be rewarded with a distended belly in the morning.  I would smile and listen to conversations that really weren’t that interesting. I would experience a sleepless night due to the digestive mix and worry that I said the wrong thing. Late at night my inner voice spoke to me in a loud critical voice, rewinding the night’s events.

Know Your Comfort Eating Style

Ali Shapiro, MSOD, CHHS, holistic nutritionist and health coach and founder of True with Food explains binge eating through the lens of three comfort eating styles: the Accommodator, the Competitor and the Avoider.  I like the way she breaks the styles down because I easily identify with all three of them.

Everyone has experienced all three eating styles at one time or another.  Like the three doshas, we identify with the one style or dosha that is the most dominant.  For the Ayurveda perspective, I turn to Brodie Welch, health coach and self-care strategist. She describes the Accommodator as Kapha, the Competitor as Pitta and the Avoider as Vatta.

Kapha:  The Accommodator:  Do you eat to please others and/or keep the peace?  If yes, you are an Accommoder. Scenario:  You are at a family gathering.  Aunt Clara proudly displays the holiday table and feast she has been preparing for days for you and others.  When you take a small portion of each dish you are greeted with: “You eat like a bird. What is the matter with you?  Eat more I prepared this for you!”  What do you say to yourself and then Aunt Clara?

Pitta: The Competitor:  Are you a competitive eater?  Do your eating patterns fluctuate between strict and binging? If yes, you are a Competitor.  Scenario: At the work party you are feeling super fit and toned in your new slinky little black dress.  The strict diet and workouts have paid off! You are enjoying holiday toasts when suddenly, the topics turn political.  You feel yourself becoming angry as you do not agree on the political nature or tone. Listening to the supportive cheers you feel more and more disenchanted with the evening.  You walk to the wine table to refill your wine glass and are greeted by mouth-watering cheeses, salty crackers and delectable chocolates. Does the voice it your head say, awe screw it and you start binge eating?

Vatta:  The Avoider:  Do you eat absentmindedly on the run?  Are you hungry after you eat because you did not chew, smell or taste the textures of your food? If yes, you are an avoider.  Scenario: You made it to the party and you suddenly realize how tired you are.  You find yourself in the kitchen next to the holiday Chex mix. As you unconsciously put you hand in the bowl and begin eating, you review your day and check off the boxes, suddenly realizing that you have not eaten all day.  You look down at the bowl and the Chex mix is all gone. What is the voice in your head saying after you ate all the Chex mix?

Developing a Relationship with the Voice in Your Head

Working with the voice in my head, my inner critic, is a daily practice.  I have learned strategies and some of the best are from Acharya Shunya. She is a master and spiritual teacher of Vedic Yoga and Ayurveda.  From Vedic Philosophy there are 4 guidelines when speaking to yourself or others.

1. Do no harm (nonviolent communication)
2. Speak your truth
3. Speak in a pleasant tone
4. Rein in your ego.  Is what you are about to say contributing to the conversation?

Using the 4 guidelines of Vedic communication as a base, you can decrease the anxiety and tension which can arise during conversation while speaking your truth in a kind and caring way. We can all begin with acknowledgment.  Hosting a party and food preparation takes time. Many men and women work full time, juggle household duties and have responsibilities caring for children or aging parents. They may also have financial or medical struggles we don’t know about.

Kapha:  What do you say to yourself and then Aunt Clara?  Take a breath and get centered. Begin with acknowledging her for her efforts and complimenting her on the savory food.  You can tell her that you are taking smaller portions because you know that each dish was prepared with love. You want to take the time to enjoy the smell, texture, and taste which will fill you up faster.

Pitta: Does the voice in your head say, “Awe screw it” and you start binge eating? When alcohol is flowing people tend to become ungrounded.  Everyone has their own opinion which is based on their perspective to life.  What would it be like to be curious and ask questions with no judgement?

Vata:  What is the voice in your head saying after you ate all the Chex mix?  What would it be like to say in a  gentle, kind voice, “Opps! Hummm, I can’t undo that and I am still hungry.  I think I will sit down, slow down, and breathe. I will nourish my body with some warm vegetable soup.”

Holiday Action Plan: I want you to have a healthy and nourishing holiday season.  Now that your clear on the three styles of eating, grab a piece of paper and brainstorm on how you will change your patterns. Tell me below in the comments.   

References:
http://brodiewelch.com/how-we-eat-is-how-we-live-unapologetic-feminist-self-care/
https://alishapiro.com/about-ali-shapiro/
https://yogahealer.com/?s=acharya+shunya
https://www.acharyashunya.com/

*Special thank you to Elise, Kari and Alec for your encouragement on writing this blog.

They all looked very relaxed and cheery. Even in those old sepia pictures, I could see that their eyes were clear and glowing. Although most of them were probably octogenarian, they all exuded vitality which is not commonly seen at that age.

I was entranced, quite curious, and admittedly – I thought they were all a bit crazy! Who in the world would wittingly subject themselves to the freezing water, however good it might have been!

I knew I would not be silly like that any time soon, for sure

The very idea of feeling cold is very off-putting to most of us. The thought of standing naked in the frigid weather, surrounded by solid snow, and then of plunging into the freezing cold pool is enough to make the hairs raise up your back.

But they were doing it. Daily. Happily. Me? I was sure that I’d have an instant heart attack if I even tried one second in a cold plunge or a shower.

Wind the clock a few decades later, and here I am, taking cold showers daily!

And here’s why.

Benefits of Cold Water Showers/Plunges

I began finding out more about the effects of cold plunges many years later when I was learning Naturopathy.

Traditionally, cold showers or cold plunges are done after the body’s core temperature has been raised first – either by steam baths, sauna, hot baths or strenuous physical activity, such as an intense running session which draws up sweat.

Research shows that being cold, and especially getting immersed into a cold water, has a highly beneficial impact on our body.

Cold showers/baths benefits:

• Improve the Immune System
• Stimulate Production of Brown Fat
• Support Weight Loss
• Reverse Type 2 Diabetes
• Prevent Aging
• Improve the Circulatory System
• Reduce inflammation
• Provide Pain Relief
• Improve m\Mood and Fight Depression
• Help with Symptoms of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Let me break it down in a bit more detail for you.

Cold water bathing stimulates our immune system, causing a form of evolutionary stress which makes it work harder and more efficiently to protect us not only from the effects of cooling in cold weather but also from infection by bacteria and viruses like flu, passed on by other people. The immune system becomes more robust, effective and much quicker to respond to such attacks, and more effective overall when dealing with any other illnesses.

It affects the production of brown fat. We have three kinds of body fat – the white fat, beige fat, and brown fat. The two main fat types that interest us here are the white and the brown fat. (See image comparison here.)

The white fat is associated with obesity and a number of chronic conditions –  type 2 diabetes, hypertension, atherosclerosis, heart disease, stroke, cancer, infertility, and so forth. It is notoriously difficult to lose, particularly when we lack the brown fat in the body.

The white fat cell is quite big, and it comprises of a nucleus (its genetic material), one predominant solid oily mass and very few mitochondria.**

The brown fat cell is usually smaller than the white and contains a large number of mitochondrial cells in addition to a nucleus, and a number of small oily droplets. The brown fat helps our body to break down the white fat, due to the presence of a large number of mitochondria in it. Effectively we are replacing the white fat with a thin layer of protective brown fat which uses the stores of white fat for its production and metabolic processes.

So if you are trying to lose weight, you will help your body utilise unwanted white fat for energy through exercise by including the cold bathing into your routine.

The brown fat can even reverse type 2 diabetes, through its utilisation of body’s triglycerides and sugars stored in white fat cells.

The brown fat produces a number of natural antioxidants, thus preventing ageing and other degenerative processes.

Cold showers or plunges improve our circulatory system too. This is particularly useful for those people who are constantly suffering from feeling cold, having cold extremities, and those who are not exercising regularly. This improvement also helps decrease any inflammatory process and reduces the pain in the body.

Cold showers are very stimulating, and they are beneficial for those with depression due to the endorphins released during cold water showers naturally improving their mood. They are even helpful to those diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome as they regulate hormones leading to more energy, lessening of pain, and increased mobility.

That is some list there! The practice of cold bathing has a huge positive effect on our system.

So where do you start?

The best place to start is to begin courting and contemplating the idea of the cold shower first. Try to imagine what it would feel like.

To me, it is an exhilarating experience! It feels fresh and invigorating as the cold water hits the skin. It starts to produce a shiver all over my body. Then it draws the warmth from deep in the body to the surface and makes me feel really warm. It clears the mind completely, makes me feel focused and relaxed. I feel the increased elasticity in all my muscles and tissues as the blood circulates freely. I feel no pain associated with the current injury to the tendon in my wrist, and there is no swelling. My eyesight improves, and the light and colours appear more vibrant. My hearing is acute.

Does it sound good to you? Could you imagine what it would feel like on your skin if you had one? Try thinking of it when you are in your bath/shower perhaps… try to entice your body to move into it… and remember – when you come out of your hot shower, it always feels cold, even if it’s warm in the house….After a cold shower, you come out feeling nice and warm! Ideal for the winter months, great for summer months too when you wish to manage the heat better. Gently build up your own excitement and expectation.

When you’ve been courting this idea for a while, one day after your hot shower, or a hot bath even (I like my hot baths), switch on that cold shower and just go for it – perhaps only for a second or two, and then see what happens!

And then do it again, the next day, and the next, increasing the length that you stay immersed each day.

I really love the cold showers now. My first one was accompanied by a piercing shriek and lasted about ¾ of a second at most. But now I can not imagine having a day without it.

Once I forgot to do a cold shower after my bath, I was too busy planning the day ahead and not fully present, and it was halfway through toweling my body that I realised it, so I jumped back in and had my cold shower – to me it’s like a desert after a fine meal, just so yummy! My mind became focused too.

A few tips for cold showers/plunges:

• Don’t shower your head – you can shower the face, but don’t immerse your whole head.
• Don’t shower at all if you feel that you’ve ‘picked up’ a virus, or getting a cold sore, and your body is trying to ‘shake it off’. I found that on one day where I felt I was ‘coming down’ with a virus, I felt the urge to avoid the cold shower, so I didn’t plunge in, and the next day I resumed with my practice as I felt back to my full health, no virus lurking inside me.
• Avoid cold showers during your menstrual period and pregnancy – you can do a lukewarm shower instead
• Do it on empty stomach, before your breakfast is the best time
  

And what about Vata types, surely they get aggravated?

Vata is responsible for all movement in the body: the flow or breath, the expression of speech, the circulation of the blood, the elimination of waste, and the regulation of the immune and nervous system. It moves the diaphragm, muscles, and limbs, and also stimulates the intellect.

When Vata is out of balance, you can feel more anxious, flighty, or forgetful than usual, you may lose weight, experience pains or spasms, numbness, dry skin, dehydration, excessive bloating, erratic digestion or insomnia.

The cold showers will not further imbalance your Vata, they will ground it instead. Their stimulating effect is not stimulating in the same way as the stimulating foods are. It is balancing, it restores the natural function and balance in our system, and it will help you anchor your Vata, and harness it for a calm mind and inspirational creativity, comfortable movement, deepened breath, a consistent appetite, normal bowel function, positive enthusiasm, healthy desire, and good energy all round.

For Vata types, I would recommend that you have a hot bath instead of a shower before your cold shower, and to increase the duration of immersion very slowly over a time.

Give it a try!

Enjoy the process of discovery of beneficial changes in your own being. Let me know what you find out.

**Mitochondria are essential for the maintenance of normal physiological function of our cells, and mitochondrial dysfunction, as well as lack of mitochondria,  is implicated as one of the reasons for pathological changes, e.g. contributing to the development of disease states in the human body.

I Could Not Say No

I found myself working longer hours than everyone else. I rarely said no to many work or volunteer requests that came my way. I would teach late night yoga classes, and I developed workshops while I tried to expand business at my yoga studio. I even lead community projects like organizing a donation box for our local women’s shelter through my yoga studio, running a mitten drive for our local food bank, and offering free karma yoga in the park! I was overworked, under-rested, hungry and tired. I would skid through the busyness of my days and when I would finally get home at the end of each day, I began to reach for a glass of wine (or two) to numb out. Too tired to cook a proper meal, I would make those quick fix meals from the freezer, or order takeout from restaurants. And weekends were not much different as they became an excuse to let my hair down and party, after all, I had worked hard long hours throughout the week. I was trying to justify it with the excuse that this is the norm, this was okay, this is just what we do.

The Price I Paid

Inevitably, every habit choice has its price. Eventually, my body began acting out with many different symptoms. First, there was swelling and pain in the joints for which the doctor wanted to send me for testing to the arthritis clinic, yet instinctively I knew it wasn’t arthritis. Next came the scare of swollen lymphs in my right underarm, and the development of a small lump in the breast tissue. This lead to a mammogram and a number of ultrasound check-ups over a period of several months. All bringing me to an overall feeling that I was headed down a terribly scary road…

A Little Voice Became a Scream

I began to hear a little voice inside telling me that I had to change things, that I couldn’t keep going this way, and that I deeply needed a rest. But how? I had so many commitments, maybe if just pushed through, maybe if I worked a little harder! I continued to ignore my real need for deeper nourishment. And soon that little voice started to become more like a scream.  I was certain that I was on the edge of a complete and total break-down. Mentally I was in overload, I was cranky at the end of each day and I begrudged having to get up each morning, let alone go off to work at my day job at a local financial institution, where part of my duties each day were to be kind, supportive and understanding, while using my skills to diffuse people’s frustrations, agitations and fears around their money issues. And I was held to a high standard. I couldn’t make any errors to the many varied transactions required of me each day, challenging to say the least. To top it all off, my workplace had been robbed several months earlier, my co-workers were traumatized, leaving us short-staffed. So those of us who stayed on didn’t even have the time to process it all. I worked 5 days per week without lunch breaks for many months while still running my yoga studio! What a mess! My stress levels were high and I kept holding up the facade that everything was okay was just too much… I decided the cost to my health wasn’t worth all the overload.  I finally gave in and chose instead to honor and listen to my inner voice.

My Body Was Crying For Attention

I realized that all my health issues were my body’s way of giving me a wake-up call.  And I decided I wasn’t having any part of it anymore. Nope! I was not going to have my body create a disease, or an illness or a breakdown as a design plan for getting out of my overly busy life! I was not going to eat & drink myself into an early grave, I was not willing to risk a heart attack like my grandmother had experienced in her early fifties, and I am not feeding cancer cells like both my parents had, nor diabetes, or arthritis or any of it! Not in this lifetime! I Quit my Job. I knew I had to make some serious life changes…I began to step out from it all. I made arrangements to leave my full-time job, slowly cutting my hours down until they could replace me, I scaled down the number of extra hours I was teaching at my yoga studio, I backed out of some of the volunteer positions that I wasn’t enjoying as much anymore… I stopped reaching for that glass of wine to cope and started reaching out to find healthier ways to move forward and leave stress behind.

The Teacher Appears

Remember that saying, when the student is ready, the teacher appears? Well, I believe it’s true. When we listen to that inner voice and begin to follow those messages, we are lead to situations, people, places and things that help us along in our journey. I began to listen more deeply and feel in to which direction I wanted to head in next, I had the distinct feeling that I needed to somehow go deeper into my yoga and wellness career. Perhaps I needed a mentor or a program with like-minded people who understood my passion for wellness and health or to find a tribe who could nurture and support me in the direction that my soul was calling out for. I considered taking an advanced yoga teacher training but nothing seemed to be the right fit. Then by chance,  I began to notice a few posts on Facebook by Cate Stillman of Yogahealer. I felt drawn to watch some of Cate’s videos and became more curious about what she was talking about. I liked what she was sharing about optimizing your health and shifting your identity towards thriving. I wanted to know more. So I followed the thread and found Cate’s program, Body Thrive. Instinctively I knew this was the program for me and I signed up! Through the Body Thrive program, I learned how to incorporate daily healthy habits into my own life in ways that helped simplify the structure of my day and give it a routine that actually creates more space for me each day. I also found a wonderful mentor in Cate Stillman, whose knowledge is vast and whose vision is in line with my goals as a wellness practitioner.  I also found a supportive and nurturing group, a tribe of people who understand my passion for yoga and wellness, and my personal evolution. Because I listened to my inner voice and began to follow the steps that I was guided to take, I removed the stress from my life. I now take time to honor my body, eat healthy, sleep more, and nurture myself with the habits of Body Thrive. As a result, I no longer suffer any symptoms of swelling in the joints, and the lumps in my breast and underarm have disappeared and are no longer of concern. I knew it was stress acting out in my body, trying to get my attention. Now,  I awaken each day feeling refreshed and happy about life. I have an ease of living throughout my day and I feel more like myself again. I am now working for myself full-time. Both my yoga business and Yoga Health Coaching business are growing organically from a place of ease rather than from me trying to push or force things. And, I have begun to slowly un-schedule more of the unnecessary things from my day-to-day life.

Pause and Check In

Before I choose to add anything new to my daily schedule or say yes to any request for my time, I pause to feel in and determine whether or not it belongs on my calendar. I check to see if it is inline with my goals and intentions. If it is not a good fit, I have learned to say a polite “no thanks” and move on.  I also now make it a priority to schedule-in playtime and me-time to simply be still and fill up! And to listen to that inner wisdom and guidance. I am truly surprised by the changes that have occurred to me in the last year. My outlook on life is improved, my body’s health is vibrant and my business is growing at a steady rate. I can’t wait to see how I will evolve over the next year, or two, or three and beyond.…And, of course, I am leaving lots of room in my schedule for that!

How to Listen to That Little Voice

When that little voice inside starts trying to get your attention to tell you that you are overscheduled, stressed and out of alignment with your own integrity, stop and listen.

Here are a few suggestions to help you get started:

• Begin by taking a rest! Even when you are incredibly busy, you can still find a few minutes to pause. Try taking a nice long bath with some epsom salts, maybe drop in a few flower petals. Make it special… If baths are not your thing, then find a comfy chair to sit in or lay on your bed and try some slow breathing gently counting your breaths in out. Light a candle or set out some flowers to help create a relaxed mood. Give yourself 20 minutes or more to focus on relaxing the muscles of your body from head to toe. Let go of any thoughts that keep you from relaxing. If you find yourself going into worry or guilt, tell yourself that you are only taking 20 minutes, and that you can worry or stress if you must later! But for now you are resting and nurturing your body and your mind. Keep coming back to your breath, relax and let go.
• In this relaxed state ask yourself what changes you’d like to make in your life. Be honest with yourself and really listen to that inner voice. Jot down any messages that come to you in a private journal or notebook. Keep these thoughts safe if you need to. Sometimes, it can be better to keep new steps you are taking safe and sacred, only sharing with those who we know will support our growth.     
• If nothing comes at first, that is okay, you can try again later. You may need to practice this a few times. Set up another rest and relaxation appointment with yourself for the next day and keep trying. Eventually something will come, sometimes it just takes some practice listening in.
• Next, take some time to grab a calendar or print a few blank calendar pages that you can write in. Grab some colored markers or pens. Give yourself about 15 minutes for this. Write everything you currently do each week/month down on the calendar in one color. Be sure to get it all. For example; write down when you exercise, your work schedule, and meetings or volunteer events. Include driving kids to sports or making pies for the PTA or teaching yoga in the evening. Get it all down.
• From here take a moment to look over your calendar, grab a different colored marker and begin to draw a line through the tasks or events that you really don’t enjoy anymore or that bring you stress. Some of these may or may not be things that you can take off your list right away, that’s okay. Remember this is only a first draft. Next, circle the tasks or events that you could possibly let go of. And make some small changes where you can by eliminating those tasks that you have circled.

It’s okay to take your time with this process. For some, changing the calendar may take longer. Be patient with yourself, make small changes that you can stick to and make more changes when you can. Make sure you add some free time to your calendar a few times each week and don’t fill those free-time moments with appointments, use them to relax or play, or dance, or read or sit out in nature under a tree. Guard them with as much conviction as you do your work schedule or your doctor appointments, or anything else that is important to you. Your time must begin to become valuable. Keep listening to that inner voice and keep fine-tuning your work/play/life balance and eventually, you will get there. Be patient, loving and kind, you got this!