How I Learned to Take Responsibility as A Trainer

If a horse becomes dangerous, develops bad habits or misbehaves, it is 100% on the trainer. It’s never considered the horse’s fault. The human trainer must take full responsibility. If a trainer is reactive or mean to a horse, the horse has no idea what’s happening. The horse will respect you as a leader but not if you are an asshole.

    Yoga, coaching, and horses. How do these three things go together? Yoga provides balance, vital for equestrians. Yoga is the best and fastest way to achieve strength, balance and focus. Yoga teaches you how to breathe correctly. It provides simple meditations, and improves your health, wellness, ability to relax, and posture. Yoga can be very spiritual and I believe horses are extremely spiritual as well. There is even a pose named after the Horse. An intermediate standing pose that requires flexibility in the hips, horse pose can help you get on and off your horse safely.

    A couple of years ago, I signed up for a life changing course, Body Thrive with Cate Stillman. I took it to another level by signing up to be a coach, yet I realized I needed to do some work to reprogram myself and break my ancestral patterns. That same month I started the Yoga Health Coaching program, Groovy came back to live with us after living in a pasture with two other colts and learning how to be a horse.

Horse Coaching is a Bit LIke Human Coaching

It was time for Groovy to get saddled, learn how to carry a bit, and take a human down the trail. For the bit, I used a string in his mouth several times and pulled with leverage before I used metal with reins attached. For the saddle, I placed different items on his back with various textures, pads, blankets, tarps, and then the saddle. I did these steps with Kaizen. Small steps to make sure Groovy was comfortable and relaxed before I moved to bigger aspects of training. What amazed me about learning how to be a coach for others was that I could transfer those skills onto my horse and vice versa. I put my horse training skills into my human coaching skills. I sought 1% improvement. If he accepted little things, I praised him and always ended the day on a good note without pushing him too far. I let him know he was enough and by handling new things calmly and patiently, we were on the right track.

Groovy Had An Amazing Daily Routine

Fortunately, Groovy had his daily routine dialed in. His Ayurvedic habits were much stronger than mine. He lived in tune with nature’s rhythm. He relaxed and spent more time sleeping at night. He ate a 90% green diet. He took lots of time out to play with his friends and enjoy his day to day life. He exercised every single day and had a good deal of self preservation.

And did I mention I have two older horses, Finn and Hot Wheels? I never paid as much attention to their daily lifestyle, until I studied health and wellness coaching. I realized my horses had so much to teach me, especially my young colt, Groovy. He was being molded by me and I had a lot to learn as a coach. Patience was the biggest lesson my horses taught me. When I was working as an Occupational Therapist, I had been very patient with my clients. Somehow I wasn’t as patient with my horses.

Now I am the Coach

When I got my first horse, I didn’t really know how to interact with him. I grew up hopping on a horse and riding off into the sunset. Now I was the trainer, I needed some basic steps to follow from an experienced horse trainer. I turned to Pat Parelli. He is a people lover and knows how to work with humans AND teach them how to be “trainers” as well. He was a student and follower of Tom Dorrance and Ray Hunt. These two were the first true horsemen who started teaching horsemanship that was considered a more humane way to start a horse vs. the traditional way of “breaking” a horse. It is how the term “natural horsemanship” started.

Here are five tips for training horses by Pat. I have learned that the same lessons apply as a human coach to help my herd, I mean tribe achieve success.

1. Achieve success with patience not force.

This is all about the ask. I wiggle my finger at my horse to ask him to back up. It is a much better approach than using a whip. The level of “ask” happens in phases. My other two horses I bought already trained. They were trained too quickly, before they were ready and with force. With that traumatic experience in their memory, it took nearly a year before I could touch my first horse, Finn, around the ears without him flinching. Ear twisting is a common procedure for some people to get a horse to stand still. I’d rather be patient and slowly teach them so I can just ask.

As a human coach, I teach Kaizen, small continuous improvements. my prefered method. Be patient, be slow, and then ask without force. No one says you must do this or you must do that. We do say, however, that some habits are non negotiable if you want to reach your goals, but take your time. Don’t rush. I let them figure it out for themselves, and for some it takes a longer time than for others.

2. Seek partnership with your client, not dominance.

I most definitely do not want to dominate my horse. It is so much more enjoyable to let them believe, that what you are doing is their idea. Respect is what I’m looking for, and a must if you want to be safe. My

horse may not maneuver down a technical steep switchback trail as well as I liked, but he did it.

As a human coach, I prefer to be a guide and to lead my clients down the right path without overwhelm. This is when seeking a B- becomes huge, vs. an A+. Just try it without seeking perfection. Reward the try.

3. Achieve goals with trust and teamwork, not fear.

My baby horse has absolutely zero fear of me. He completely trusts me, which is one of the best feelings any horse owner could ever have. I have learned to be very receptive and open to his requests. Instead of reacting harshly, I pause, reflect, and then proceed. Slow and steady. Now my older horse loves it when I touch his ears. When Groovy watches how Finn crosses bridges, water, or any technical obstacles, he is more confident in seeing another horse he trusts being up to the task. He has his own herd just like humans have a tribe.

In health coaching, teamwork is huge. In studies, 70% of people in a group setting achieve more success, than those who go it alone. While my horse and I are a team of two, my clients are in a group setting making up a tribe. They can offer each other peer support and accountability to help them reach their habits without fear. Trust is huge!

4. Request new behavior, without intimidation

There is nothing better than asking your horse to do something for you with the smallest request. For example, instead of using spurs to push my horse forward, I can just smile with of my four cheeks, (2 on my face, and 2 on my bum), and think G-O. Or, instead of using a strong bit to make them stop, I can just lean back and say “whoa” softly.

As a human coach, I adapt to people’s needs. People participate when they are ready, if not, I recommend doing it again. We are talking about changing our lifestyle after all. Screaming and yelling, “JUST DO IT”, like my field hockey coach, would be a pointless waste of my time and energy. Again, I am more of a guide. I am there to provide information and encourage you more than anything.

5. Form alliances based on harmony and mutual respect instead of coercion

If I treat my horse like an intelligent being and a friend, there is no need for coercion. If we have harmony together, we will achieve success and we will be partners. This comes with lots of practice. Not repetition. The Arabian breed is not a fan of repetition but they will definitely practice with you. I have 3 Arabians, by the way. Riding down the trail is always a practice in seeking subtle improvements.

As a coach for humans, I practice with my students. I practice meditation. I practice self care. It is a lifestyle where we can seek automation with these simple habits that are game changers in the world of radiant longevity that Cate offers, and I also, being a Yoga Health Coach. We can seek harmony without forcing ourselves to do these habits with willpower, and soon it will dawn on us, that willpower is no longer even relevant. Walk the talk and you will have harmony in your everyday life and with your horse.

Next time you have challenges coaching a human client, be grateful you are not coaching a 1,000 pound beast. I love coaching horses and humans. Hopefully, you can learn from four legged friends when the opportunity arises. See what happens. Give it a try. Watch them closely and you will learn more than you can imagine. And thank you Pat Parelli for your five tips on training horses and…humans.

Happy Coaching.

If you are in any way a progressive thinker, you’ve tried your utmost to make an improvement to ‘those days’. You are familiar with practices of mindfulness. You’ve tried recommended natural products.  You’ve talked to lots of people – heck you talked to the professionals too! You might have even taken big-boy pharmaceuticals promised to make a huge difference to your mental well-being.

Little has changed over the years. Most likely ‘those days’ are still a common feature of your life and you just cope, not allowing yourself to consider the possibility of genuinely enjoying this day.  The day seeps into your week, month, year, and the heart silently weeps, in spite of the smile on your face.

You wonder if this can EVER really change… if this mind of yours can ever become a true buddy on this journey of life, and not continue to trip you up, often when you least expect it.

Ayurveda and Mental Health

Western medicine considers mental health as separate from our overall physical health. Yogic and Ayurvedic traditions see the two as inseparable.

For the last 4000 years, through self-inquiry and practice, yogis (yoga masters) and vaidyas (the ayurvedic healers), came to realize one simple but powerful fact: there can be no peace and clarity of mind, or stability of our moods, in a body experiencing disharmony, discomfort, pain or stress.

More recently even Greeks come to the same realization – their now famous motto was:

“A healthy mind in a healthy body.”

Ancients knew that incorporating self-nurturing habits of yoga and Ayurveda into our daily routine would help heal the sick, and make those that are healthy stronger and at ease, more resilient, full of energy, and vitality.

In yoga we talk of ‘bliss’ often. It is a bliss of the mind, for sure! But it is a result of deeper levels of innate comfort emanating from the depths of our physical being. The yogis and vaidyas realized that there can be no true happiness & contentment if the body is suffering. The way we feel in our body will determine our mood.

The Power of an Ache

For instance, remember the time when you had a headache or a toothache. If one suffers in acute pain, you quickly realize how much your mood, and emotional mental well-being are affected.

We feel cranky, irritable, and uncomfortable – and not just in that affected body part.

Our whole being will be ‘squirming’ with discomfort, suffering greatly. And so will our mind. We’ll have difficulty concentrating or focusing our mind on little else but our pain. We’ll feel tired,  exhausted in fact. We will want to avoid all unnecessary contact with others, or we may feel particularly needy and unsupported.

Isn’t it strange how a ‘small thing’ like a headache or toothache can affect our well-being on such a deep level?

Although, it’s quite simple and logical, when you look deeper within our body.

Everything in our body is connected via the huge web of neural pathways. Whenever one nerve fires, this whole web lights up, firing the signals of discomfort through the whole body-mind system.

Funnily enough, those instances of sudden or short-lasting pain, such as toothache or headache, are much more remarkable and memorable much more felt than the seemingly small niggling pains, aches, and discomfort. We become tolerant to low level chronic inflammatory processes, digestive imbalances, immune & hormonal disorders, circulatory issues that go on over a long period of time which seem to become a part of our backdrop.

Surviving by Dampening the Pain

Why? Well, the body-mind system just learns to settle into, and to dampen down signals of distress that are coming from affected parts and systems. The body-mind system always looks for homeostasis,that innate balance, and this is geared by our own survival mechanism.

If we learn to ignore our discomfort on the conscious level, we may be able to function – and in this case, simply plod on, for a little bit longer, hopefully.

But the pains and discomfort are still there, even when we’ve learned to dampen their signals from our immediate consciousness.

And we begin to feel low in our moods, we begin to accept this low as ‘normal’. As we continue to spiral down, we forget how it actually feels to feel great!

Or maybe we step up, and decide we will try to redress these ever-present low moods, so we try the talking therapy, or mindfulness, or pills, or supplements.

But it doesn’t work. After all these years, it still leaves us feeling down, defeated again.

Until we begin to re-balance our body and attune to our circadian rhythms all else will be an uphill struggle. Allow your body to heal the layers of discomfort – in your joints, gut, lungs, belly, skin, and all of your more subtle systems by simply adjusting the rhythm of your day.

The mind will be low, our moods betraying us: feeling stressed, grumpy, moody, tired – as our thoughts endlessly ‘catch’ onto the signals of discomfort emanating from the central channel of our nervous system. Continually creating stories & patterns that will keep us mentally spiraling down in spite of our best efforts.

That feeling of Bliss that yogis always speak of is not a concept of the mind. Bliss is the physical sensation of the calm and quiet nervous web, which then spills into the well-being of our mind. We feel refreshed, relaxed, at ease. Our mind becomes joyful & light. Our thoughts are filled with generosity, patience, tolerance, gentleness & peace. And our heart is steady, brave and determined, opened with the wonder that the world holds for us all.

How to HEAL YOUR MIND with the 10 Habits of Yogis

These seemingly simple practices will revolutionize the way you feel within and without! Rooted in ancient Ayurvedic wisdom, they have the power to transform your life in ways that you can’t possibly even dream of now!

Imagine sleeping well & waking up early each day, with a smile on your face, even before your alarm goes off. Having plenty of time for self-nourishment, exercise, enjoyment of nourishing foods. Plenty of time for reflection and play with your loved ones. Feeling energized, happy and joyful, no niggling aches or pains, at your optimum body weight.

As we automate our daily practice of 10 Habits, we allow our body, and particularly our nervous and hormonal systems to re-boot and heal, and by default our mood and our mind-set will change drastically.

Start Here

Begin on this journey by taking little steps each day – start by simply going to bed a bit earlier.

Trust me – this was a BIGGIE for me – I always identified with being a Night Owl type – for many many years, going to bed at 2 am was considered an early night here! Now I am regularly fast asleep by 10 pm – catching that first and most important part of the night when our bodies detox and rebuild.

During the hours of 10 pm until 2 am we use the power of our internal Agni/Digestive Power to do do some serious housekeeping. When we wake up in the morning, our mind feels fresh and clear.

A TIP for better Sleep and more effective overnight detox: commit to eating a bit less and a bit earlier each evening.

On The Road to Bliss

You will soon notice that your mind feels rather chirpy and optimistic each morning. There is this lovely feeling bubbling up from the depths of your heart, making you feel very positive about the day ahead, and even the week ahead of you, without any particular cause… Just a sense of joy starting to surface and integrate itself into your daily perception.

As you deepen and automate your practices of the 10 Habits, you will soon be coasting in Bliss, your mind at ease, joyful & light, and feeling refreshed, relaxed, and brimming with deep vitality and zest for life.